If you were here today, I'd tell you how much I've missed you.
I'd tell you that you've never left my mind
And that five years seems like just yesterday.
I'd say that I've never forgotten your waffles,
And that they are still the best I've ever had.
I'd tell you that your hat is still hanging in the garage where you left it
And that your words and songs still hang in my heart.
I'd tell you where I've been since you've been gone.
I'd share all my blessings.
And I'd listen to advice about my failures.
And I'd love you.
I'd love you just as I've always loved you.
This time I'd say it even more.
To my Grandpa
October 26, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Monday, August 15, 2016
Where Did My Joy Go?
Today was my first day back to school. It was....stressful, to say the least. I found myself struggling with the loss of summer and meeting the needs of 23 little ones, while still maintaining my own needs. It's not easy being a teacher. I promise. The performance that we give daily is both physically and mentally draining. However, every second of it is also a blessing. We have the power to impact children's lives. We can change them for the good...or for the bad. It's amazing when I think of it that way. It's also a bit overwhelming.
Anyway, I left my school feeling a bit defeated, and although I won't share with you the details of why or how the day got the best of me, I will give you this. I came home to a reality check.
I spent the whole day worrying and only very few seconds of it actually praying, actually handing over that worry to God. As soon as I walked through my front door, I felt thirsty. No, it wasn't for my Lemon Vitamin Water. (Although, as I teacher, I drink far less than I should! Bathroom breaks are hard to come by.) I was thirsty for Him. I was thirsty just to hear from God and to express my feelings of helplessness. You see, I had a day envisioned in my head where happiness and perfection would ultimately prevail. Yet, I forgot that I live in an imperfect world. Moreover, I failed to see the good things that did happen in my day. I felt slightly abandoned, yet I didn't take the time to acknowledge God's presence throughout the entire day. I missed the blessings that He bestowed upon me. I missed the opportunities to talk to him and thank him. Thus, I ultimately missed the joy. I left a day that could have been incredible to uncover one that was rather lackluster.
Lately, I've been coming upon many verses and devotions about joy. "Don't lose your joy." "Your joy is in Him." I read over them feeling carefree. I had the whole "Pssh, I got joy" attitude down pat. To be completely honest, I didn't consider them the way that I should have. Then when tested with a situation that could affect that joy, I failed. I failed epically. Joy? Ha! I left that school today forcing a smile and reconsidering the teacher that I claimed to be. I failed to recognize the fact that God doesn't say to be joyful only in the good times. He doesn't say to be joyful only when the students are quiet, and the lesson plans go perfectly, and everyone is smiling, and no one hurts your feelings. Nope. God says, "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
Huh.
Always be joyful. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. So if I had just spent more time looking at my day through a different lens, if I had taken more time to pray during the turmoil, I feel certain that I would have still been clinging to my joy at the end of the day. I missed an opportunity today. I missed the chance to be so much more than I was for myself and for my students. I missed the opportunity to grow closer to my Heavenly Father. Yet, I learned. I learned that I can't keep allowing the little things to make such a big impact on me. I need to cling tight to my joy and remember that in the end, God wins. He always wins.
Spend your day with God. He wants you to be with Him always. Finally, don't let anyone or anything ever steal your joy. It's far too precious to lose.
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
Just a note: If you're looking for a fabulous song on Joy, check out Joy by the band Housefires. All of their music is incredible. (They wrote the song Good Good Father that you may have heard Chris Tomlin sing.) However, this song is my favorite! It's such an uplifting gift on a rough day!
There's beauty in my brokenness,
I've got true love instead of pain,
There's freedom though You've captured me.
I've got joy instead of mourning.
In Your presence there is freedom,
In Your presence there is fullness,
In Your presence there is joy,
Joy forevermore. -Housefires
Anyway, I left my school feeling a bit defeated, and although I won't share with you the details of why or how the day got the best of me, I will give you this. I came home to a reality check.
I spent the whole day worrying and only very few seconds of it actually praying, actually handing over that worry to God. As soon as I walked through my front door, I felt thirsty. No, it wasn't for my Lemon Vitamin Water. (Although, as I teacher, I drink far less than I should! Bathroom breaks are hard to come by.) I was thirsty for Him. I was thirsty just to hear from God and to express my feelings of helplessness. You see, I had a day envisioned in my head where happiness and perfection would ultimately prevail. Yet, I forgot that I live in an imperfect world. Moreover, I failed to see the good things that did happen in my day. I felt slightly abandoned, yet I didn't take the time to acknowledge God's presence throughout the entire day. I missed the blessings that He bestowed upon me. I missed the opportunities to talk to him and thank him. Thus, I ultimately missed the joy. I left a day that could have been incredible to uncover one that was rather lackluster.
Lately, I've been coming upon many verses and devotions about joy. "Don't lose your joy." "Your joy is in Him." I read over them feeling carefree. I had the whole "Pssh, I got joy" attitude down pat. To be completely honest, I didn't consider them the way that I should have. Then when tested with a situation that could affect that joy, I failed. I failed epically. Joy? Ha! I left that school today forcing a smile and reconsidering the teacher that I claimed to be. I failed to recognize the fact that God doesn't say to be joyful only in the good times. He doesn't say to be joyful only when the students are quiet, and the lesson plans go perfectly, and everyone is smiling, and no one hurts your feelings. Nope. God says, "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
Huh.
Always be joyful. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. So if I had just spent more time looking at my day through a different lens, if I had taken more time to pray during the turmoil, I feel certain that I would have still been clinging to my joy at the end of the day. I missed an opportunity today. I missed the chance to be so much more than I was for myself and for my students. I missed the opportunity to grow closer to my Heavenly Father. Yet, I learned. I learned that I can't keep allowing the little things to make such a big impact on me. I need to cling tight to my joy and remember that in the end, God wins. He always wins.
Spend your day with God. He wants you to be with Him always. Finally, don't let anyone or anything ever steal your joy. It's far too precious to lose.
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
There's beauty in my brokenness,
I've got true love instead of pain,
There's freedom though You've captured me.
I've got joy instead of mourning.
In Your presence there is freedom,
In Your presence there is fullness,
In Your presence there is joy,
Joy forevermore. -Housefires
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Partying Alone
Have you ever tried to plan a party? You might start by creating a list.
Then, slowly, as the day approaches, you mark off each item. You've purchased your groceries; your house is clean. Supplies are set up, and everything is ready. But what about the guests? Only a few friends sent in the RSVP. Some said they couldn't make it. Others aren't sure. You don't know who is going to show up, if anyone at all. You feel let down, hurt, and maybe even a little alone. Thoughts shrouded in doubt whiz through your head with the speed of hurricane winds.
I was sure she would come.
Didn't they just go on vacation?
You can't stop by for just an hour?
Clearly, she doesn't like me as much as I thought.
It happens. (Unfortunately!)
As humans, we enjoy being around others. In fact, God even encourages it!
"The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" Genesis 2:28
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
1 Thessalonians 5:11
However, there comes a time when we often put "our people" on pedestals. We put so much faith in them and rank them to high levels that they will never meet. Then, inevitably, they let us down, and we become upset. We trust them to meet a need that they can't possibly fill.
God calls us to put our trust in Him. He is the only one who will never let us down. We can hold Him to the highest standards that we can imagine, and He will still surpass them. Moses says to Joshua, in Deuteronomy 31:8, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
So as we become discouraged or let down by others, we have to stand on God's truth. How amazing is it to know that the God of the universe promises to always be with us. (Little old us?!) He won't be out of town or have other plans. He'll be there, no matter what happens, and He's sticking around even after all the cake is eaten and the buffalo chicken dip is cold! You don't have to be alone! We can not and should not put our faith in other people. It's not fair to them. God wants us to put our faith in Him. He wants us to depend on Him, and He wants to let us know, that through that faith, we will find fulfillment.
Do not look to your friends or family to fill you up. Despite their very best intentions, at some point, they will let you down. God will not.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
- Invite guests.
- Clean the house.
- Buy groceries.
- Set up supplies beforehand.
Then, slowly, as the day approaches, you mark off each item. You've purchased your groceries; your house is clean. Supplies are set up, and everything is ready. But what about the guests? Only a few friends sent in the RSVP. Some said they couldn't make it. Others aren't sure. You don't know who is going to show up, if anyone at all. You feel let down, hurt, and maybe even a little alone. Thoughts shrouded in doubt whiz through your head with the speed of hurricane winds.
I was sure she would come.
Didn't they just go on vacation?
You can't stop by for just an hour?
Clearly, she doesn't like me as much as I thought.
It happens. (Unfortunately!)
As humans, we enjoy being around others. In fact, God even encourages it!
"The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" Genesis 2:28
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
1 Thessalonians 5:11
However, there comes a time when we often put "our people" on pedestals. We put so much faith in them and rank them to high levels that they will never meet. Then, inevitably, they let us down, and we become upset. We trust them to meet a need that they can't possibly fill.
God calls us to put our trust in Him. He is the only one who will never let us down. We can hold Him to the highest standards that we can imagine, and He will still surpass them. Moses says to Joshua, in Deuteronomy 31:8, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
So as we become discouraged or let down by others, we have to stand on God's truth. How amazing is it to know that the God of the universe promises to always be with us. (Little old us?!) He won't be out of town or have other plans. He'll be there, no matter what happens, and He's sticking around even after all the cake is eaten and the buffalo chicken dip is cold! You don't have to be alone! We can not and should not put our faith in other people. It's not fair to them. God wants us to put our faith in Him. He wants us to depend on Him, and He wants to let us know, that through that faith, we will find fulfillment.
Do not look to your friends or family to fill you up. Despite their very best intentions, at some point, they will let you down. God will not.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
When Negatives Need to Become Positives
Most of the time, I'm my own worst enemy. I struggle with remembering that I'm not here to please others or live to their standards. I'm here to live on God's standards. It's easy to say, but it's not always easy to do. I find myself feeling inadequate far too often because I'm allowing the judgement of the world to rule over God. If I feel like I'm not living up to what the world wants from me, then I decide that I'm not good enough. For all of us, that type of attitude often leads to all sorts of negativity--negativity about work, negativity about relationships, negativity about ourselves. We can never be "good enough" to a world that is full of evil. That is why we shouldn't allow our surroundings to control the way we feel about ourselves.
Negative thoughts are like a weed taking root in the middle of a bed of beautiful flowers--they'll eventually take over. Allow one to seep in and more and more will follow until they completely consume you.
Those negative thoughts infiltrate my mind more often than I'd care to admit. I know I'm not alone in this, so I wanted to share what God gave me through a Joyce Meyer devotion. I hope that if you're allowing the world to judge you instead of giving that control to God, that you, too, will find this helpful. <3
"To be honest, a lot of us are negative thinkers when we find ourselves in challenging situations. But to move past trying times, you have to take your negative thoughts and turn them into positive thoughts...Being positive is powerful. And a big part of being positive is simply reminding yourself of your past successes." -Joyce Meyer
**If you don't already have a YouVersion account, I encourage you to take the time to create one. You can find devotionals from Joyce Meyer and many others on YouVersion. It's truly an incredible app!**
Negative thoughts are like a weed taking root in the middle of a bed of beautiful flowers--they'll eventually take over. Allow one to seep in and more and more will follow until they completely consume you.
Those negative thoughts infiltrate my mind more often than I'd care to admit. I know I'm not alone in this, so I wanted to share what God gave me through a Joyce Meyer devotion. I hope that if you're allowing the world to judge you instead of giving that control to God, that you, too, will find this helpful. <3
"To be honest, a lot of us are negative thinkers when we find ourselves in challenging situations. But to move past trying times, you have to take your negative thoughts and turn them into positive thoughts...Being positive is powerful. And a big part of being positive is simply reminding yourself of your past successes." -Joyce Meyer
**If you don't already have a YouVersion account, I encourage you to take the time to create one. You can find devotionals from Joyce Meyer and many others on YouVersion. It's truly an incredible app!**
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