Where Did My Joy Go?

Today was my first day back to school.  It was....stressful, to say the least. I found myself struggling with the loss of summer and meeting the needs of 23 little ones, while still maintaining my own needs. It's not easy being a teacher. I promise. The performance that we give daily is both physically and mentally draining. However, every second of it is also a blessing. We have the power to impact children's lives. We can change them for the good...or for the bad. It's amazing when I think of it that way. It's also a bit overwhelming.

Anyway, I left my school feeling a bit defeated, and although I won't share with you the details of why or how the day got the best of me, I will give you this. I came home to a reality check.

I spent the whole day worrying and only very few seconds of it actually praying, actually handing over that worry to God. As soon as I walked through my front door, I felt thirsty. No, it wasn't for my Lemon Vitamin Water. (Although, as I teacher, I drink far less than I should! Bathroom breaks are hard to come by.) I was thirsty for Him. I was thirsty just to hear from God and to express my feelings of helplessness. You see, I had a day envisioned in my head where happiness and perfection would ultimately prevail. Yet, I forgot that I live in an imperfect world. Moreover, I failed to see the good things that did happen in my day. I felt slightly abandoned, yet I didn't take the time to acknowledge God's presence throughout the entire day. I missed the blessings that He bestowed upon me. I missed the opportunities to talk to him and thank him. Thus, I ultimately missed the joy. I left a day that could have been incredible to uncover one that was rather lackluster.

Lately, I've been coming upon many verses and devotions about joy. "Don't lose your joy." "Your joy is in Him." I read over them feeling carefree. I had the whole "Pssh, I got joy" attitude down pat. To be completely honest, I didn't consider them the way that I should have. Then when tested with a situation that could affect that joy, I failed. I failed epically. Joy? Ha! I left that school today forcing a smile and reconsidering the teacher that I claimed to be. I failed to recognize the fact that God doesn't say to be joyful only in the good times. He doesn't say to be joyful only when the students are quiet, and the lesson plans go perfectly, and everyone is smiling, and no one hurts your feelings. Nope. God says, "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

Huh.

Always be joyful. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. So if I had just spent more time looking at my day through a different lens, if I had taken more time to pray during the turmoil, I feel certain that I would have still been clinging to my joy at the end of the day. I missed an opportunity today. I missed the chance to be so much more than I was for myself and for my students. I missed the opportunity to grow closer to my Heavenly Father. Yet, I learned. I learned that I can't keep allowing the little things to make such a big impact on me. I need to cling tight to my joy and remember that in the end, God wins. He always wins.

Spend your day with God. He wants you to be with Him always. Finally, don't let anyone or anything ever steal your joy. It's far too precious to lose.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Just a note: If you're looking for a fabulous song on Joy, check out Joy by the band Housefires. All of their music is incredible. (They wrote the song Good Good Father that you may have heard Chris Tomlin sing.) However, this song is my favorite! It's such an uplifting gift on a rough day!

There's beauty in my brokenness,
I've got true love instead of pain,
There's freedom though You've captured me.
I've got joy instead of mourning.
In Your presence there is freedom,
In Your presence there is fullness,
In Your presence there is joy,
Joy forevermore. -Housefires